Friday, June 30, 2017

Trumptard Double Downs on “Low I.Q. Crazy Mika”: "LIES!!! MAN CAN'T MARRY A DOG"

America's favorite petulant child fires off what many are concluding is a follow up to his now famous twitter tirade directed at “low I.Q. Crazy Mika”. President Trump, a former fan of Ms. Brzezinski, is now denying that he ever offered to officiate the wedding of the two television personalities. 

The president previously described Ms. Brzezinski as “low I.Q. Crazy Mika” and claimed in a series of Twitter posts that she had been “bleeding badly from a face-lift” during a social gathering at Mr. Trump’s resort in Florida around New Year’s Eve. The White House did not explain what had prompted the outburst, but a spokeswoman said Ms. Brzezinski deserved a rebuke because of her show’s harsh stance on Mr. Trump. NYTimes

Thursday, June 29, 2017

West Wing Reads...only books with pictures

West Wing Reads

No need to guess where the White House is getting its crazy ideas, West Wing Reads provides a window into how to best cherry pick "articles". It's shocking that the White House fails to differentiate between hack opinion pieces and actually researched journalism. 

Case in point, the first headline:


- Josh Archambault in Forbes
"Reality check! An analysis by Forbes contributor Josh Archambault reveals surprising flaws in the CBO’s score of the Senate healthcare bill, which concludes 22 million more Americans will be without health coverage by 2026. As Archambault points out, the CBO score is based on an old, inaccurate 2016 CBO estimate of how many Americans will purchase Obamacare. If you use their January 2017 update, Republican legislation to repeal and replace Obamacare would result in only 2 million fewer on the individual market by 2026, and would actually result in no losses and even some gains in enrollment in the years preceding, Archambault estimates."
Forbes Magazine is a real publication that writes real news. Josh Archambault does not work for Forbes magazine; Archamault is employed by The Foundation for Government Accountability (FGA). While Trump invokes Forbe's name to give the article a facade of credibility, opinions expressed by Forbes Contributors are their ownFGA is a Koch backed, right-wing advocacy group based in Naples, Florida. It is run by former Maine legislator Tarren Bragdon. It is a member of the State Policy Network (SPN), a web of state pressure groups that denote themselves as "think tanks" and drive a right-wing agenda in statehouses nationwide. Source.  
A study funded and written by the organization contributed to Florida Governor Rick Scott's defense of his controversial welfare drug-testing law, requiring benefit recipients to take a drug test as a qualification for benefits. The law came under fire from the ACLU and other groups, and a Bush-appointed federal judge threw out the Foundation's study as evidence, claiming it was "not competent expert opinion" and that "even a cursory review of certain assumptions in the pamphlet undermines its conclusions."Source
With all the resources of the federal government, the best support the White House has is the opinion of Koch brother backed think tank, which fails to divine how taking a trillion dollars out of healthcare to give to America's 400 wealthiest families won't negatively effect the majority. 

Orrin “Dipsy Doodle” Hatch: "She was asking for it. Don't want to be fondled, don't go in the Oval Office"

Orrin “Dipsy Doodle” Hatch: "She was asking for it"
Orrin Grant Hatch, has been the President pro tempore of the United States Senate since January 2015, a  member of the Republican Party, he serves as the senior United States Senator for Utah, and, since November 2016, an outspoken Trump enabler.
Orrin “Dipsy Doodle” Hatch. 
Hatch, a staunch supporter of capital punishment and harsh “3-Strikes” legislation, was quick to chalk Great Leader Trump’s recent breast fondling, pussy grabbing, and reporter slandering up to a ''Dipsy Doodle.''
This is quite fitting, as “Dipsy Doodle” was famously last evoked by Ronald Reagan to belittle foes of trickle-down economics, genius idea being trumpeted by the current administration.
Mr. Reagan's characterization of estimates by Democratic politicians that tax cuts and defense spending would drive up the deficit as ''real dipsy doodle.'' Evidently the President was deeply impressed by the dance-hall lingo of the 1930's.
''Dipsy Doodle'' was a song composed by Larry Clinton in 1937 and dealt with the reversal of words and expressions, such as ''You love I and me love you.'' The origin of the phrase is labeled as unknown by Merriam-Webster, but to speculate, dipsy might come from dipsomania, now called ''alcoholism,'' and the slang shortening to dipso (from the Greek dipsa, ''thirst''). A second possibility: from the dance dip, in which the man pulls the woman toward him, then bends his knee and swoops forward as if imitating Groucho Marx's walk.
The doodle part is easier: In German, Dudeltopf means ''nightcap,'' the sort worn by a simpleton. The doodle added a humorous alliterative fillip to the phrase; even today, the verb to doodle means ''to draw idly,'' giving some substance to the theory of etymologists who argue that it is a variant of dawdle. Doo is the sound of the simpleton, as he fiddles with doodads and doohickeys. (Doo wha'?)
As baseball fans know, the dipsy doodle was taken up as the name for a sinking curve ball, or sinker, or dip. ''Dutch'' Reagan began his career as a baseball announcer, and may have picked up the phrase in this phase of his career. Without delving into linguistic psychohistory, it seems likely that the President associated ''a real dipsy doodle'' with trickery or chicanery, as the phrase for a curve ball soon became a favorite with mystery writers: ''I opened the front door, leaving the key in the lock,'' wrote Raymond Chandler in ''High Window.'' ''I wasn't going to work any dipsy doodle in this place.'' 
History Source: NY Times Archives

FLOTUS Phone Flap - Why is OBAMA sending DICK PICS to MELANIA?!?

Obama and Trump are both furious that multiple photographs of President Obama's engorged member have been appearing on the current first lady's cellular device.

This crotch caper is the apparent result of the former president's aides substituting Melania's number for Michelle's, as Obama continued using the nickname "FLOTUS" for his wife after leaving office. Current FLOTUS failed to inform Obama of the mix up; Obama only learning of the snafu after inquiring as to why Michelle was being so prude (she usually is quick to reply with her own naughty messages).

Image result for Melania looking at phone
We all know President Obama is a prolific texter of cock-shots, but, unlike Crooked Hilary collaborator Anthony Wiener, has until now refrained from sending them to anyone but his wife. 

WH Staffers reported lady's laughter, followed by sounds an old man screaming and crying. It's unclear if the two stories are related. Melania has refused to remove her over-sized sunglasses for the last 27 hours, leading many to speculate she recently got LASIK. 

“What a beautiful dairy?” Trump Declares While Fondling Irish Reporters Left Breast

When reporter Caitriona Perry attended a press briefing with US President Donald Trump she probably didn't expect it would spark a debate about workplace sexism.
The RTE Washington Correspondent was at the Oval Office on Tuesday to cover a diplomatic phone call between the US leader and Irish Taoiseach Leo Varadkar.
But as the two leaders discussed Mr Varadkar's new position, and the number of Irish migrants in the US, Mr Trump interrupted the call to fondle Ms Perry's left breast, remarking “What a beautiful dairy?” 

No surprise that MSM had taken this beautiful, presidental compliment out of context, attempting to equate Trump's uninvited touching with an assault and battery.


NSFW!!! Bloom's Baby Boner Bumps Bastard Barren Brewhaha NSFW!!!

Perry looked fully covered in her bikini and far less stoked about the situation. “He had the willy out,” the Australian radio show reminded Perry of her then-boyfriend. “Why weren’t you also nude in that? Did you have the foresight to realize there could be photographers here, but he was like, ‘Nah, they’ll be none, pet’?” Apparently, Bloom tried to get Perry on board. “He asked me if I wanted to [be naked], and I was like, you know, it was one of those things where I was like, ‘Ah, no,’ ” she said.


Barren Baron, Barren bastard

Trump shoots blanks, Putin unloads in Melania

Vladimir on Left; Melania on Right

Allegations were levied against the President's fertility as he celebrated his 71st birthday.

According to medical documents leaked to the RDJTN Politics Team, the White House Medical Staff noted on the President's most recent physical that his sperm count was well below the average level to maintain virility. This information bolsters the claim that Barren Trump is actually the illegitimate son of Vladimir Putin

CBO Green-lights Internet tax reform bill

Estimates Speculate Reduction of Federal Deficit by $119 Billion

Trump on Left; Bezos on Right

In an apparent attempt to spur economic stimulation for the most socially suceptible Americans, the President had his most recent campaign promise -- the Internet Is Now Free, the best; brought to you by America -- scored by the Congressional Budget Office.

The guidelines note, "a hotel reservation, whether or not paid, would not constitute a bona fide relationship with an entity in the United States." Despite this apparent uptick in the President's day, he was overheard in the Oval Office yelling at his Amazon Echo device for allegedly leaking details to the press.

Wednesday, June 28, 2017

Putting the Bull in 'Bully' - WH Issues Threats To Syria Over Chemical Attacks Without Telling The Pentagon

In the midst of investigations into Russian interference in the United States presidential election, obstruction of justice, and fighter jet shootdowns, the White House suddenly announced last night that Syrian President Bashar Assad would “pay a heavy price” if it used chemical weapons again in Syria. And it’s been reported that the Pentagon and the State department had no idea about it.

VP Pence fronting with Rainboe, his new dog, 

Is there a Venezuelan bull in Trump's China Room?

President admires Venezuelan cohones from afar

Maduro on Left; Trump on Right

A White House staffer overheard the President this morning during a breakfast pow-wow with his senior GOP Congressional colleagues in the China Room. The staffer told TRDTN sources that, while they passed through the center hall of the White House basement floor, they noted a conversation about the escalating situation in Venezuela.

The President was observed saying, "He admired the 'Good Hombres' cohones. He's no Chavez, but at least this guy knows how to get a message through the Supreme Court."

Good Hombres: Helicopter launches attack on Supreme Court

He's no Chavez, but at least knows how to get a travel ban thru the SC.

Venezuela's Supreme Court has been attacked by grenades dropped from a helicopter in what President Nicolás Maduro called a "terrorist attack".
Footage on social media shows a police helicopter circling over the city before shots and a loud bang are heard.
The police officer said to have piloted the stolen aircraft issued a statement denouncing the "criminal government". His whereabouts are unknown.
It comes after mass protests against the political and economic crisis.
The Supreme Court is regularly criticised by the Venezuelan opposition for its rulings which bolster Mr Maduro's hold on power.

Tuesday, June 27, 2017

DoD Short-Lists "Preperation H" for Syrian Operational Codename

Department of Defense short lists "Preperation H" for Syrian operational code name

ISIS and Hemeroids now share more than one thing in common; not only do both cause extreme discomfort and aggressive anal bleeding, but they both now fear the name "Preparation H."

Senior advisors were overheard by staffers in the EEOB 4th floor leaving an "I.C." meeting; they were discussing the President's fondness for the product and how it would likely resonate with him upon its proposal in the Oval Office later that day.

Trump begins exploratory committee to investigate Senator Warren's heritage.

Trump begins exploratory committee to investigate Senator Warren's heritage.

A staffer close to a Special Assistant to the President of the United States within the White House Office told RealDJT this morning that the President has begun to secure funds for an exploratory committee thats sole focus is to investigate Senator Warren and the authenticity behind her claim that she has relations to the Native Americans.

While speculation behind the President's move grows like wildfire, sources claim they overheard President Trump in the Navy Mess say, " I won't lose out to that feather headed four-eyes; I'm the only casino man in this town!"

Monday, June 26, 2017


Donald J. Trump, acting president and serial fondler, demands an apology from Kenyan born Barack Obama for colluding with Russia.

Trump makes several valid arguments:
1. Obama knew from secret wiretaps that DJT only ran for president to boost ratings for The Apprentice.
2. Obama was mad at Trump for revealing the truth about his Kenyan birth

Simple math people: 1 + 2 = Obama did it. Who's got a rope?


Trump Moral Quagmire: You had me at Conspiracy Theory & Scaring Blacks, why ruin a good thing by adding Islam?!

The Anti-Vaccination Movement Is Working with the Nation of Islam to Scare Black Families 

Trumps love for the Anti-Vaccination movement may be on its last legs. "I think Hilary supporters got in there and messed it all up. The pro-whopping cough contingency is too smart to self-sabotage."

Putin Secret Police "help" Lazy American into Embassy

Trump says it's too early to tell who's at fault. It could have been the Chinese or a fat slob in a NJ basement (shout-out to DJT's boy Chris "shut dem bridges down" Christie), why do we always jump right to the Russians?!

In a video aired on Russian television, the U.S. operative can be seen struggling to drag himself across the embassy threshold and onto U.S. sovereign territory. He sustained a broken shoulder in the attack.

Ivanka Trump grades father's political performance on scale used by Rosie O'Donnel.

White House insiders today revealed rubric that Ivanka may use to grade her father. Ivanka was quoted saying, " I try to stay out of politics, but I needed to weigh in on this."

Indian Prime Minister Whatshisname Starts U.S. Visit on Right Foot: Praying to Trump

India's Prime Minister, following the lead of our Saudi friends, demonstrates the requisite fawning admiration our Great Leader so mightily has earned. 

This will be a truly great visit. India has much to learn from Supreme Leader Trump.

1000% WIN!!!! Supreme Court agrees with DJT - MUSLIMS are DANGEROUS

The court is allowing the ban to go into effect for foreign nationals who lack any "bona fide relationship with any person or entity in the United States." The court, in an unsigned opinion, left the travel ban against citizens of six majority-Muslim on hold as applied to non-citizens with relationships with persons or entities in the United States, which includes most of the plaintiffs in both cases.
Examples of formal relationships include students accepted to US universities and an employee who has accepted a job with a company in the US, the court said.
Source: CNN: Supreme Court Travel Ban

DJT finaly got these clowns on board. Next stop, no more abortion town, choo choo!!!!!

DJT & KFC, a Collusion of Sexiness

President Trump enjoys a healthy snack before destroying the enemy. ISIS, your next!!!!

President Donald J. Trump, TCB

America is blessed to have the office of the President, a uniquely dignified position, occupied by such a uniquely-abled, senior citizen.

Eric is "Special" I've spoken to him. Know one is talking about Chelsea?! #Frizzyhair

President Trump, in black face, admonition Eric Trump, "special" son

"I love lamp"

President Trump was clearly perturb at son Eric's poor television performance.

-Leaked White House Footage

Sunday, June 25, 2017

Trump Approach: "Values create obstacles to our ability to advance our national security interests, our economic interests.”

Values = freedom, human dignity, the way people are treated

Old Approach = use American influence to advance the rights of minorities around the world, to negotiate a new arms control deal or to set norms of behavior for nations that attack each other with cyberweapons

Trump Approach: "Values create obstacles to our ability to advance our national security interests, our economic interests.”

From the NYTimes:

“Let’s talk first about my view of how you translate ‘America First’ into our foreign policy,” he said, and then went on to describe an era in which American economic and security interests would be paramount.

To many in the department, Mr. Tillerson’s speech was notable for what it did not include. Over the previous five presidencies, questions of how to use American influence to advance the rights of minorities around the world, to negotiate a new arms control deal or to set norms of behavior for nations that attack each other with cyberweapons had become the focus of American diplomacy. Not anymore.

And when Mr. Tillerson spoke of human rights, it was to caution that, while the United States always treasures “freedom, human dignity, the way people are treated,” those values would often not be reflected in policies. Values, he warned, cannot be allowed to “create obstacles to our ability to advance our national security interests, our economic interests.”

After giving it thought, Trump decided he has no interest in hosting a gang of "camel jockey terrorists."

President Donald Trump has now officially become the first president to not host an iftar dinner marking the Muslim holy month of Ramadan. Instead of continuing with the tradition Trump and First Lady Melania Trump released a statement wishing “warm greetings to Muslims as they celebrate whatever it is they are so worked up about."

The president was of course speaking of Eid al-Fitr, which marks the end of the holy month of Ramadan, when Muslims around the world abstain from eating and drinking from dawn until dusk.
When he was campaigning for the presidency, Trump said in an interview that he wouldn’t be opposed to continuing the tradition. “It wouldn’t bother me. It wouldn’t bother me,” Trump said. “It’s not something I’ve given a lot of thought to but it wouldn’t bother me.”
After giving it thought, Trump decided he has no interest in hosting a gang of "camel jockey terrorists."

The annual White House dinners were typically attended by prominent members of the Muslim community as well as lawmakers and diplomats. The dinners continued uninterrupted after the Sept. 11, 2001 attacks as then-President George W. Bush emphasized the country was combating terrorism and not Islam.

Bare Down There: Melania's Shocking Prenup Conditions

Its no suprise DJT would insists on an iron-clad pre-nup, considering Ivana took him for $300 million. Ivana's Pre-Nup, according to Vanity Fair, was DJT's worst deal to date.

What is surprising is the attention paid to Melania's physical appearance. In addition to weekly weigh-ins and required BOTOX, its being reported that the president requires her nether regions to be devoid of all hair. Apparently, when the president feels the need to "grab them by the p*ssy" he doesn't want grass on the field.

Trump Attorney: The President's Tiny Hands are Huge.

WASHINGTON — An attorney for President Donald Trump was adamant on Sunday that the president's tiny hands are in fact not tiny.
"Let me be clear here," said Jay Sekulow, a member of the president's legal team, on NBC's "Meet The Press." "The president is not and has not been under investigation for tiny hand syndrome. So what if he has minuscule hands?"
On Friday morning, Trump sent a tweet that seemed to confirm that he was under scrutiny, writing, "I am a giant. I have the biggest hands. You won't hear that reported."

Jay Sekulow, a member of the president's legal team, on NBC's "Meet The Press." 
Also on Sunday's "Meet The Press," Sen. Marco Rubio, R-Fla., noted that "one thing we've learned from the testimony of multiple people now is the president is pretty fired up about this" and doesn't believe his tiny hands are tiny. And the president "wants people to say that," he said.

Trump's New Look: is he trying to to win back voters?

Trump: I'll tell them he's back and those idiots will never tell the difference; we'll see who gets some health care legislation passed.

Bengali Monastery Claims to Breed Aplacas Exclusively for Donald Trump's Toupee

First reported on Reddit.

West Bengal University of Animal and Fishery Sciences reports that selective breeding has successfully produced the correct color specified by President Trump.

West Bengal University of Animal and Fishery Sciences
Address :
68, Kshudiram Bose Sarani,
Calcutta 700 037,
Telehone:5565021, 5571986
Fax : 033- 5571986

Pence NOT GAY!!! Slept with MOTHER at least once!?*

Mike Pence, ex-governor of Indiana, staunch non-homosexual & proponent of gay conversion therapy clears the record.

Acknowledging his many sordid bathroom encounters, Pence compares his earlier self to a slightly wilder George Michael of WHAM! fame, but insists he's now on the straight and narrow.

Ever the good Christian, Pence swears Karen Batten, AKA Mother, is, and always has been, a woman. Further, following their 1985 nuptials, Pence and Batten consummated the marriage in accords with biblical teachings, saying "sometimes God asks for more than you think you can give. I pictured Jesus, bit my lip, and got the job done. We both cried tears of joy, knowing that God was happy and, now that our heterosexuality was cemented, we wouldn't have to do that again."

Pence finds staying fit helps keep him stay on the Godly path.

America is about forgiveness; Pence should be congratulated for bravely sharing his story.

brad patton
Pence and "workout buddy"? - undated photo - unknown source

*Unconfirmed - For humor only - must ask Pence. All quotes may be real, but came from no actual source. Please fact check on your own.

MEAN!!! Trump F*CKS Disabled Nephew?!?

"When [Fred 3rd] sued us, we said, 'Why should we give him medical coverage?'" Donald said in an interview with the Daily News. Asked whether he thought cutting their coverage could appear cold-hearted, given the baby's medical condition, Donald made no apologies. "I can't help that," he said. "It's cold when someone sues my father. Had he come to see me, things could very possibly have been much different for them." William, Trump's older brother's son, was born with a rare neurological disorder that produces violent seizures, brain damage and medical bills topping $300,000.

Barry Obama: It's $10 for a BJ, $12 for an HJ, $15 for a BF...

Barry Obama: It's $10 for a BJ, $12 for an HJ, $15 for a BF... Trumtard: [Interrupting] What's a BF? Black Berry: If you ha...